October 19, 2009

The Fall Funk :(
I think too many months of intense work are wearing on me -- it has been a year of long hours and limited gratitude/work from clients! This combined with the shorter days of autumn are sure-fire mood crushers. I have nothing to complain about, really and truly I don't. I am healthy, I have wonderful kids who love their Momma and a great boss is inspirational and who also is a dear friend, AND who has complete faith and confidence in my ability and my character. But, I think I am just one of those dreamer types that needs a bit more sunshine and down time -- really have not had a break since age 15 or so, it's been work, work, and more work ever since. Our generation is really on the hamster wheel!

Lotto Luck Required
Lately, I have even lost my enjoyment in cooking; just too pooped most nights -- and I had the afternoon free on Sunday and what did I prepare for dinner? Kraft Dinner! My poor little son -- he doesn't know better and enjoyed it thoroughly. If I won the Lotto tomorrow, I would still work, but likely I would be producing art full time and writing scripts, children's books and poetry -- yes, in that order. But first, I would take time off to rest, to travel a bit, and to catch up with friends.

You reach a certain age and realize you will never find time to do all of the things you aim to do; you begin to figure out that it is necessary to be selfish to a certain extent and seize the time, demand the time. So, this is my ongoing struggle -- a bittersweet tug of war with guilt and my artist's soul. I have often thought creativity is a selfish person's gift--I really struggle with it.

Creative Haven
Tomorrow is my creative day -- my employer insists that I take one per month; what a doll! She knows I need it, even if I sometimes see it as optional. This precious day truly is a safe port in a storm for me. I only wish she would take a day herself before granting this privilege to me. She is an overly modest, talented musician, writer, speaker and has impeccable taste -- my dearest wish for this exceptional woman is that she would reward herself --FIRST! It makes me feel like a failure (like I am not doing enough for her!) that she does not take that time outside of the office.

Pie in the Sky...
Today was a day of hollow intentions. My first intention was to make a Shepherd's Pie. However, when I got home, dinner was underway and this plan was shelved. Will attempt again tomorrow!

My second intention was to get out for my evening walk -- I am sitting at just under 2,500 steps and my daily minimum goal is 10,000. Instead I ate a huge piece of pumpkin pie from Costco! Tonight I will hug my rounded, full of pie abdomen in my heated bed and say "I love you, Pamela! I forgive you, you are enough, Honey and tomorrow may the sun shine brightly on your muddled head and ignite some joy in your heart!".

Tomorrow, I will again put forth the intention to make this wonderful casserole for my children -- I need to feel the love, the urge to create something worthwhile or it will not taste like anything; will not be worth eating. Wish me luck, friends. Here is the recipe -- I hope you enjoy it :)

Bryan's Shepherd's Pie

1 kg (approx. 2 lb) lean ground beef
1 large cooking onion, diced
2 cloves minced fresh garlic
250 g (1/2 lb) fresh sliced mushrooms
salt and pepper to taste
1/3 cup flour
1/3 cup Vermouth (this is the "secret weapon"!)
12 medium potatoes
1/4 cup butter
1/2 cup milk
paprika
500 g (1 lb) sliced fresh carrots
500 g (1 lb) frozen corn or petite peas (or use both, if you like!)

Brown the beef in a large non-stick skillet, removing any fat. While the beef is browning, boil the potatoes in salted water and par-steam the carrots and corn (or peas, or both).

Stir in the onions, garlic, salt, pepper and mushrooms into the browned beef and continue to cook, stirring often, until the onions are clear and the mushrooms begin to brown. Reduce the heat and add in the flour. Once the flour is mixed in and the mixture begins to thicken, gradually add in some of the water from the potatoes and other veggies to form a thick gravy; add in the Vermouth and stir well. Remove the beef mix from the heat and spoon into a large casserole dish - cover and set aside.

Mash the potatoes with the butter and milk. Drain any remaining water from the other vegetables and layer them over the meat in the casserole. Spoon the mashed potatoes over all and sprinkle with paprika. Bake in a 300 degree Fahrenheit oven until warmed through and slightly golden brown - the gravy typically starts to pop through the potatoes a little - yum. Serves 6-8 with leftovers -- enjoy!