September 20, 2009

Inside the box
Well, this weekend is on it's last few breaths; the sun is slowly setting in a fuzzy peach kind of glory -- there's just always so much to do and it's hard to balance time with kids and friends with the "need to do" tasks around the home and yard. At the best of times, weekends are an overwhelming roster of laundry, meal prep, general cleaning, errands, shopping etc. etc. etc.

This morning, I looked through the diamond-shaped glass in my front door -- the glass was all foggy for some unknown reason (likely dust from ongoing street work!), but I could see the muted golden hue of sunbeams and knew it was going to be another exceptional, sunny day -- and one that I had little hope of enjoying outdoors. In that brief moment I felt rather hopeless; like a pet store animal that nobody picks or some lifer in prison -- trapped in a cage and wondering how I got there, and if this pattern would ever change.

Cleaning, cooking; fighting craziness
The only way I can stay sane and stop feeling defeated is by keeping busy and focusing on one task at a time -- I do feel good when I can tackle some of the disorder and dust bunnies in our little house. Today I did the white tornado treatment on the main bathroom, did a few more loads of laundry, and completed much-needed wall washing in my kitchen.

I also sorted and pared down clothing in my closet, armoire, dresser and drawers and organized my huge jewelry chest. This was satisfying from an organizational standpoint, but oh so depressing as I have not been eating well the last five days or so and some of my favorite things are tight as sausage casings! BLOAT should be a four-letter word, like FATT! (Tomorrow it is back on Atkins with a vengeance, btw!)

Through all of this madness, I am earnestly trying to balance the drudgery with my artist's soul and my love for others -- today, however, my only creative outlet was in the kitchen. After seeing the mediocre food my kids grabbed for at breakfast (Timbits) and lunch (plain pasta), my love for those dear children and my intense guilt lead me to drop the rubber gloves and cleaners. I spent a good part of the afternoon making chicken/vegetable soup, and then created an apple crisp and some tea biscuits -- just to up the ante.

The soup and biscuits were devoured without a "thank you, Mom", and the crisp is waiting for tummies to deflate a little - then it will be enjoyed with some vanilla ice cream.

The lovely crisp was made with Goodland apples from our own trees -- it has been a grand year for apples! The biscuit recipe, a walk down memory lane to my Princess years (no, I am not going there, as I am feeling fragile, used up, unappreciated and fat!) comes from the famous Empress Hotel in Victoria, BC where my late uncle was the much-loved GM for many years. The EH biscuits did not disappoint, although my spare tire says I should not have eaten ANY -- never mind the two that I slathered with butter and devoured! If only I was with my fav Auntie and had a pot of Empress Blend on standby... Princess memories...ridiculously high carb cotton candy pink blissful memories...

Some shared goodness
Well, enough of my morose musings... here is a cherished recipe for Apple Crisp. I hope you will find some lovely fresh apples and make some as a treat one evening this week. This recipe was adapted from a Quaker Oats version and has been a favourite in my family for many, many years.

Oatmeal Apple Crisp

6 large apples -- peeled, cored and sliced
1-1/2 Tbsp. brown sugar
2 Tbsp. lemon juice
1/4 cup water mixed with 1/2 tsp. vanilla extract
1/2 tsp. ground cinnamon

Topping:
1 cups oatmeal (quick or slow cooking - either works fine)
1/3 cup all purpose flour
3/4 cup brown sugar
1/2 tsp. sea salt
1/3 cup butter (or margarine)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Butter a 9" x 12" Pyrex baking dish. Place apples in the dish, sprinkle water mix and lemon over apples and toss lightly. Sprinkle cinnamon and brown sugar over the apples and set dish aside.

Combine all dry ingredients for the topping. Melt the butter and blend in with a large fork until coarse crumbs form. Dump the crumbs over the apples and pat down gently. You can sprinkle a little extra cinnamon on top if you like it :) Bake for 25-35 minutes until apples are tender and topping is browned. Serve warm with cream, whipped cream or ice cream. Serves 4-6.

Glum Mom walking...
I have decided upon reading this rant that I need to go out for a long walk tonight -- then I can taste my delectable crisp almost guilt-free :)